Forget Love Coaches, Take Relationship Advice From Old Couples

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Photo by Wonsung Jang on Unsplash

If You Must Talk, Talk to Your Partner

“We always talk about what’s bothering us with each other, not [with] anyone else! We have so many friends who are in marriages that are not working well, and they tell me all about what is wrong. I can’t help them–they need to be talking to their spouse about [it]. If you can figure out a way to be able to always talk with your spouse about what’s bugging you then you can work on the issue.”

Whenever something bothers you in the relationship, say it out loud to your partner. Even if it’s a hard truth that might hurt your partner. Confiding in your other half builds connection, trust, and intimacy.

A Relationship Is About Two People

“You cannot be selfish when it comes to loving someone.”

In sickness and in health, through the dark and happy times. Learn and understand each other every day. When your partner is busy, help them with the house chores. If they’re sick, help them with their medications. Before heading to work together, brew a cup of their favourite coffee just because.

You and Your Partner Aren’t Perfect

“The truth is, we’re not similar, but we’re willing to co-exist.”

After a while, relationships will pass the honeymoon phase and aren’t always lovey-dovey. After being with your other half for long enough, you’ll come to see this person for who he is or who she is. You have to learn how to compromise and accept their quirks just as they do with yours.

Love Is a Long-Term Commitment

“Passion is sudden, and love is constant.”

It’s not about the grand sweeping gestures nor the sparkle in your eyes when you first fall in love with them. It’s about the small things you do to show your partner that you care.

Ask Yourself Important Questions

“When it comes to love, be a little old fashioned”

When choosing your lifetime partner, ask questions like: “Is this person likely a good provider?”, “Are they going to be a good parent”, or “Can they manage finances well?”. Remember, these questions are essential because you’re going to spend a long time with this person.

Don’t Break Up Over Arguments

“The both of you may argue, but after a while, you start speaking again. Just because you have an argument, you don’t just break up, because you get over it. You get on living your life together.”

The romance you see in Hollywood movies isn’t real. A perfect relationship doesn’t exist. There will be fights and tears, horrible words, scared and uncertain times as much as goofy, sweet moments that no one shares but the two of you.

Be With Someone Who’s Right For You

“When you meet someone you feel is right for you, then accept that, but don’t rush into it. Give yourself time to make sure it’s right. Because if it wrong, it’s not going to last.”

Having a lot of chemistry with another person doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the right one for you. Don’t get rush into a relationship because you’re scared of being alone, or feeling like a loser because your friends are in great relationships.

Personal Space in Relationships Is Important

“I’d say a vital ingredient for us for a happy marriage has been each of us respecting their partner pursuing their own interests, including having their own friends, while also having friends in common with your partner. Some couples seem to be stuck together with crazy glue, and while I understand why, I could not live this way myself.”

Your partner is part of your world, not your everything. It sounds counterintuitive to give your partner freedom, but the fear of doing so spells out mistrust and insecurity.

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